Oh, Me of Little Faith…

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My eyes opened before 4:30AM.  I heard Adrian getting ready for work in our bathroom.  I couldn’t help but feel a little irritated.  In addition to it being crazy early, this morning already wasn’t going as planned…before we even went to bed last night.  We’d marked today’s date on the calendar.  We were supposed to be loading trailers, in anticipation of closing on our new house tomorrow.  Instead, Adrian was getting ready to go in to the office.  As sad as we are, leaving our friends and loved ones here, it is even harder now that we have so many unknowns.  Having a date on the calendar made it easier, really, to settle it in our hearts.  Now that we don’t know what is going to happen, all that I can do is wait…and think.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, after Adrian kissed me goodbye.  In addition to the disappointment of the day, there have been some strange vehicles stopping in front of our rental house this week, several times each day, with men stepping out to take photos.  We asked the realtor about it (this house is for sale, so we thought maybe they were taking photos because of that) and she had no idea.  With Adrian gone so much, it’s pretty obvious to passersby when he’s not home.  So, after I said goodbye to him, I laid in bed and snuggled with Essie…worrying about everything.  (Because that is super healthy.)   The realtor told us, yesterday, that our rental house has had an offer that will be accepted – that’s great, if everything works out with our house in Wyoming.  I don’t particularly like getting a rental house ready for showings.  What if our house, in Wyoming, doesn’t work out, though?  What will we do?  We’ve been sure about housing so many times over the past year, only to be disappointed.  This delay has me super worried.  Anyway, as I laid in bed, the worry and irritation became almost too heavy to bear.  I walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee, then sat on the couch to read my Bible.  Matthew 11:28-29 says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  Why do I feel like this is so huge?  Why am I struggling to have faith that God has this?  So many people have way bigger burdens that they are carrying.  Why is it so easy for me to pray and believe that God will work it out for them?  Surely, God has this all worked out for HIS glory!  I just need to wait on Him.  

As the Littles start to stretch, and sleepily stumble into the living room, I will put a smile on my face.  “Good morning!  It’s going to be a great day!”  Oh, I wish that I could convince myself as easily as I can convince them.
Lord, only YOU can make it a great day!! 

Matthew 14:31
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

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Filed under Family, The Journey West

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