As I look at Eliyjah, snuggling him close, I wonder if he will be my last baby. With my 35th birthday quickly approaching, I know that he very well may be. I breathe in his baby-ness as deeply as I can, hoping to never forget how wonderful he smells. I stroke his soft cheek with mine, and whisper words of love in his ear. I trace his chubby face with my finger, trying to imprint the way it feels in my mind. I touch each of his teeny fingers, enjoying his firm grasp. Oh, how I wish these days would slow down…how I long for time to hold still.
I look at Iszak, sitting close to me on the couch. His feet, that I used to tickle and tease, are now bigger than mine. When he holds my hand, his grip is stronger than mine. I now look up to see the boy who once looked up to me. Gabryel, with his funny jokes and witty ways, so quickly outgrew my lap. Abbigayle, my first baby girl with the curly hair and pudgy cheeks, is now helping to care for her baby brothers and sisters. Phoebie, soft and sweet, is quickly becoming a grown-up girl. Malakai, our miracle boy, just started kindergarten and is gaining independence. Chloie, sassy and strong-willed, is grown up well beyond her age. Ayden, so cute and slightly naughty, has a mind of his own. Benjamyn, so chubby and squishy, is quickly learning words and discovering his world.
I thank God for my littles, each one unique. I pray that God will use me to teach and mold them and that He will guide their every step. I pray that my short comings will be covered by His perfection, and that He will bring them happiness. I pray that my littles will always know what a blessing they are to me, and that I love them with a love deeper than I ever knew I could possess.
Looking at Eliyjah, wondering if he will be my last wee one, makes me ponder on the future… on these phases in life…
Soaking up every minute,